Diary

Giving Up

As much as I want to go, as much as I used to admire.

But when you hit the point, you just have to let certain things in life go.

I tried my best, or did I.
I lost myself, I lost my track, I forgot the path, but I don’t want anyone else to get involve o know.

I know that I could find my own way. I know that I myself understand where should I go, and what should I do next.

But, you yourself is a human being, you need to understand when you hit it. It will break into pieces. holding on into that thoughts.

“Sometimes, letting go is the last option and its not that bad at all”ย 

Or is it.

I believe that, people could improve, not change, but improve themselves to a better version, sooner or later.

To think that, what matters now is whats in front of you. I failed.

wow that’s been what, a while to feel. To fail. I asked for it, I want it, I pray for it just so it will hit me. It does, completely.

System Error.ย 

I accept it, I accept the fact that I fail. But some part of me regret it so much that I wish I could turn back time. However you know, deep down that time will never be your friend, at this kind of situation. I am happy, I am sad as well. Probably neutral.

How I am used to it being looked down by your surroundings, then when I manage to get out of the circle. I forgot how it was to be back, behind, as a shadow, bookworm, anti-social, life was just sad but it was balance. For me at least. Sad but that’s the truth.

I am glad that it hits me, at first it was so hard to take it in.

Second I laid down on a carpet surround by cats was just nice.

Third I scroll down through twitter and Instagram.

Fourth stuck with YouTube.

Fifth, I wanted to cry so bad but I just can’t. Really just can’t. Not because I don’t want to, is just that I can’t.

Recalling what I have done for the past year, how I use words for encouragement, motivation, leading, I am sure it was.

I can never be right if I can’t face my own problem.

“Human have its own flaws”

Again, does not mean you don’t have the right to improve that factor. you could, just need believe in yourself.

I tried so hard not to get people surround me to be involved with whats in my head, as I mentioned before.

I believe that, when you fall, you fall alone, on your own. And most of the time you will have to pick yourself up, and stand, next move forward. or just keep swimming.
I would state that you are lucky to have someone next to you at least when you fall. DO appreciate that.

I prefer to take the hard path. I want to. But yeah. I am okay with it.

I have my reasons behind this kind of decision, that’s include giving up some things, or people.


halluuu its been two weeks or so, lack of update because I had examination. SECOND SEMESTER IS OVER! and what should I do. Keep posting obviously.

So today’s topic its a bit too much I would say, but yeah.

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3 thoughts on “Giving Up

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