To be with a person who understand you. Most importantly to be there for you, through ups and down, through every faces you have, from the moment you are down and shine afterwards with and without, as well as the other way around.
Then I realised, I have been there for so much yet where were you when I need someone, at least someone to acknowledge, that me as a human being need a person to be there for me. To be treated like how I make you as my priority, an important person to me, as someone that I care and need to protect, yet who am I. The Last Choice.
I will not blame anyone for it. Probably because I am just too dumb to realise that I have been giving things that they need, to be the person to talk when they need, to support whatever the decision. Care less of the consequences to myself, worried how it affect the others than myself.
“You need to be selfish” They said.
Too stubborn to actually believe that people would change, that second chances or more would worth the wait.
Then again, I poison myself. Believing that it is right to do so, it seems right to be so, the right thing after all. Despite how much no one really sees you that way. To be seen emotionless. It is normal for me, to at least to see them happy, considering less of myself.
“Be the nice guy, do nice things, something good will come, soon”
But what kind of world we are living now, to believe it. Will people treat you better?
The day, I am grateful to have and be with a person who make me realise (like really makes me realise, how bangang I was) that I am worth more than a shadow.
To make me feel needed.
To be able to rely on someone.
To ask for help or favor which is not a bad thing to do.
To take care of me.
To see things for me.
Most importantly, to be there for me.
It feels so wrong and right at the same time, because no one actually have ever done that before. My mom and brother has always been there (Always, although its not easy to share everything). More like in terms of an actually emotion that I could express in word, to actually listen and understand. For someone who will give you his/her shoulder to cry on when the world is being unfair, or the situation is unfair, or basically you are just messed up and rather be a cat so you can sleep eat and poo then repeat.
I do not mind of people sees it as being too soon. I mean have been through more than enough (
enough with “you are too young to know things”, stfu. You don’t even know bruh), and more more to come. However from what I have understand, I am thankful, greatful, really glad, I would say happy as well, * Please insert more* to have a person who needs you,
and as much as I need him.
Be grateful to have a person or two who has been there for you
from the start,
Never abandon them, or even make them as a last choice
or as an option
(If they do just walk away, its not worth it)
just because you found someone better, when they were not around,
does not mean you won’t hurt anyone surrounds you.
It applies to both friendship and relationship
So be careful and take care of yourself.
Yumie J Jolynn
Thus, be a cat, jk.