Diary

Too much

Not a very usual post, I might say. I mean I used to write this kind of post before Best of the Month, monthly favorites, product review and such. But today I am just feeling it.

“Too much” 

IMG_5525I have too much time, as in it’s semester break of course which I get to rest from the 5 to 6 months of full university student mode. As for today, I feel a little bit like a “meh”. What I did for a couple weeks was

I did numbers of DIY 

Start to do bullet Journal 

Editing Videos 

writing lots of blog draft that I think its not complete to post yet 

doing my work 

watching anime, series or movies in my room 

being with my cats

Watching youtube videos

Scrolling through Instagram posts and twitter 

sometimes watch food and cats videos on Facebook 

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Well as you can guess, or not – I am an introvert. I don’t go out much, but if I do only when I want to meet my boyfriend or get something to eat. For almost two decades I spend my time in the house, specifically in my room. If that is not normal for you, its fine. It is normal for me. Even when I tried to go out, trying to explore, for example BIBD Home Showcase, a woman told me that I have a very cute camera. Do you know what happen afterwards? I said thank you. But deep down I was SCARED AF. I don’t talk to female as much as I want to, due to my past. Thinking at that time like “is this normal, hooman just talk to me, she’s nice, well probably won’t see her around, please don’t let anyone notice me”.

Going back to the topic is that, I don’t know what to do anymore. I did what I really want to, as listed above. But I am craving for something more. Mainly something to do that makes me busy – or else I am going to overthink things like what the hell am I doing, do something, be productive af, you need to do something! Why aren’t you thinking about the future – the world is going to end to recalling every mistake I made! Do read that in a very dramatic background music.

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Why do I sound like a not very healthy person. I am trying, like I really am in the mood to do DIY Food such as smoothies. BUT, we don’t have the blender that could smash every bits of ice into ice-cream-look-a-like. Went to Soon Lee to check it out, damn it’s so expensive, I can but I cannot. So part of my brain really wants to make smoothies asap. Other than that, you know that Slime DIY trends? yes I did that already. It was fun and messy.

I am that kind of person that crave for things to do, to think the possibility of what I can do as a person. But some part of me knows that its too much. To settle down makes my head all messed up with mood swings, and I don’t like it. I know that I am pushing myself way too hard, and I do not understand why the hell am I doing that. It’s just really the kind of person I am, or my brain just need some FIRE to it. Am I the only one behaving like this or do you guys – you know the urge to do something.

So, let me know what you think on the comment section yeah.

Have a good day hooman!

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4 thoughts on “Too much

  1. Why don’t you feel comfortable talking to girls? What camera do you have?

    Yeah I feel the urge to do stuff sometimes, it’s like a need. Baking usually helps!

    Like

    1. I have been surrounded with male relatives more than female, growing up a bit tomboy makes it hard for me to talk with girls 🤣 Does that make any sense hahaha

      Currently I have Samsung NX1000 Pink Edition. The color attract people into asking me more about that camera

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I was also a tomboy growing up and really have to make an effort to feel comfortable with girls, so that makes sense to me! Luckily I can now say though that I have four very very close girl friends. They don’t all know each other, but they definitely keep me sane!

        Also, that camera (googled it)… it’s amazing! I love it!

        Like

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