Oh hey there! Thanks for clicking that button its either we’re in the same page or you’re wondering what happened to my previous friendship HA-HA-ha. No, I’m sorry it’s not about that – well maybe – It’s more about how to cope with the human expectation on perfect friendship! yes yes, that does exist not only how society or social media create inhumane expectation towards the relationship but also with “DAMN FRIENDSHIP GOALS TOO BOI”.
The view of the perfect friendship of texting 24/7, hang out every weekend, talks about the same topic, having the same standard, the must-have gossip, take pictures for Instagram so that everyone knows we’re still friends – what else do people do nowadays. I used to live that lifestyle of OH SHEEET I NEED TO update my Instagram about what we’re doing, be involved in every group chat, deciding which sides I should be into, know the latest person who fucked up and such, being talked behind the same group of friends behind my back and act dumb as if I don’t know a thing. Hahaha, bitch, I do. That lifestyle really tires me where I tend to please others and make them happy, and the worst was to be there for everyone. Of course, you guessed it, no one was there for me huhu sad.
Starting University I realized that I need to set my priority straight, I’m done with hearing people judging one another to be as the conversation starter – is where I decided to ditch or simply say cut numbers of people off. As my therapy hooman once said, “there is no rule book that says you MUST have friends” I was like DAMN you’re right! All of the views that the media put up in my head that I NEED to have friends are just GAH!
Here is What I have learned:
- I do not have to be there all the time if people need (mostly want me to) me to be
- I don’t have to be in a specific group of friends (just come and go boi – no drama we chill)
- Identify those who worth the commitment of time and emotional investment
- It’s fine to say No once a while (it’s not like it will be the end of the friendship unless your friends are overly sensitive and keeping tabs on it)
- You can have more than one group of friends and do not feel guilty to be friends with others, not that you’re CHEATING with your other friends damn chill
- Good friends understand that you need “me time” and doesn’t question what you’re up to
- It’s not all about you hence give your friends some space
We basically have this culture build in that in order to grow we need to drag down some of our so-called friends which I have seen too much of it. Some may disagree, I mean name one time when you never talk about your friends to your other friends, I mean shit I do that too 🤣🤣I’m sorry. The thing is I’ve been cutting and avoiding people for my own benefit and that’s fine because my mental health is so damn important than having to hang out every single time. Damn it’s really tiring, am I getting old or how do you guys socialize every single day?
Well, what do you guys think? It’s fine to have a lot of friends and it’s fine if its the other way around. Have you ever been there, how do you cope with such an invisable standard of friendship?